Candy Bling

Boys are like candy... some are addictive, delicious--others bittersweet, and then there are those who are sugar-free and leave an after taste that lingers long after they are gone. I've had an aversion to boys for the last 6 months, but we will get into that later. A smart man once told me to write about what I know about; if I don't know anything I know about friendship. I know which ones to cherish and which ones to dispose of. Our circle of four happens to be very tight; the true definition of "ride or die". I'm the addictive one who is an original Pisces wearing my heart on my sleeve and full of emotion. I'm easy to spot being the only dark-skinned guy in the clique. I work out to relieve stress and I've been told I'm quite handsome, but I'm bashful and take it with a grain of salt. I dress to impre$$ and I have a bad habit of buying multiples of my favorite items. Just in case I lose or misplace one. I have an addictive personality that sometimes gets me into trouble (shop-a-holic). I consider myself a book-worm and I need to read like I need to breathe. My family is very important to me. I'm not out, but I assume some of them have an idea that I might be gay because I have a circle of beautiful friend-boys and no history of a girlfriend. I don't feel the pressure to be out because I am very private. My business is just that. No elaboration necessary. I'm probably the most sensitive, but I'm also very smart, ambitious, and a hopeless romantic. Excuse me--- where are my manners? I'm Nikoah, but all of my friends call me Nik. You see I've been in this "lifestyle" for about 6 of my 24 years and after much pain, love, highs, and lows I have come to the conclusion that I have absolutely nothing to show for it. For 6 years I have laid my heart out on a platter only to have my main dish picked over, scattered, and strewn about. Don't get me wrong I've learned my lessons about love, pain, forgiveness, and all that shit. I'm much wiser for the misfortunes, but I'm also damaged goods as a result of them. I find it so hard to put myself out there and trust again... love again.. even try again when it comes to boys. I've been celibate for the last 6 months in an attempt to simply take a break from it all. I can't lie---I do miss sex and I get weak every now and then and may set-up an appointment to get my pipes cleaned, but each time I back out. I'm just not ready to be back on the market yet or even deal with sex. I'm in my 1st year of an intensive 3 year Master's program and the last thing I need is something to divert me from my goals. In the back of my mind I always come to the conclusion that no one will ever compare to my ex Santos. He was everything to me and for 4 years we were "the" couple, but little did I know I wasn't the only apple in the pie. It ended badly and when we do pass each other on the street I don't even speak. I consider myself a very smart guy and its not easy to bullshit me, but when it comes to matters of the heart I suppose we can all become blinded. Enough about me for now; get into my boys.


Maverick is probably the wild child in the group; he's delicious--- definitely delectable. The term flamboyant usually has a negative connotation, but fuck it that's him. He's not fem, but he is very outspoken, in your face, and full of zest. Think Dennis Rodman sans the basketball talent! He is 6'4 and the tallest of the group. His long black locs with auburn frosted tips swing over his masculine face. Maverick isn't exactly handsome, but you couldn't tell him that. He thinks he's the shit and you know what? He is. His distinctive style, smile, swag, attitude, make him irresistible. The boys really dig him and the girls do too. How could they not? Maverick has something many of us wish we had... the guts to be exactly who he is and not give a fuck what the world thinks. He wouldn't dream of being in the closet. Most people know he's bisexual and he wouldn't give a damn. I envy his individuality. Maverick also has a reputation for breaking backs. Word on the street is that the boy can fuck; I wouldn't know. The boys flock to him and its always fun watching them fall head over heels for him when Maverick wouldn't know love if it landed on his shoulders. He does however love his Cuervo, plays Guitar like nobody's business, and has never had a relationship last more than 6 weeks. Although we don't usually take Mav seriously he is very intelligent and was very much there for me through my ups and downs. He is very good in a crisis and is quick to kick someone's ass for messing with me. Out of all my friends he is the one always checking on me and making sure I'm okay. And when he thinks no one is paying attention he can give some of the most brilliant love advice; go figure. Maverick is very bright, but doesn't really apply himself. He is what you would call a jack of all trades and a master of a few. Maybe he spread himself too thin on purpose--I don't really know. He is still in undergrad and usually takes a year off in between semesters. We are planning his graduation party sometime around 2018, but don't quote me on that. Maverick works 3rd shift at a plastics plant and also is the resident computer geek. If you can do it with a computer Mav knows how to do it. This includes programming Direct TV access cards for illegal satellite of which he has an impressive clientele. Thanks to Maverick I have free 24/7 porn. We are always going to one of Mav's gigs. He is in a band called Lousyd Dreamz. He is vicious on guitar and has a mean falsetto. He runs a YouTube channel and is always on the phone carrying on with relative strangers. You cannot talk to him for 5 minutes without his phone buzzing; it can get a bit ridiculous. Our friendship is probably my favorite, but I would never admit that to anyone but you. Its nothing for me to drop by his place and cuddle and watch TV. There is no and never will be sexual chemistry between us so we can cuddle and laugh and talk without the provocative innuendo. What we share is intimacy and that is something I cherish.



Keegan is probably the most hood and the most kind; he's bittersweet. Most people think he's an asshole because he is very quiet around strangers and has accomplished so much at a young age; yet if they had the opportunity to know him like we do they would know he is a really great person. Although he grew up in Messiah Heights (one of the most affluent neighborhoods in the state) you would never know it. Everything about him is ghetto fabulous. He's a hustla and makes a shit load of money as a DJ and Party Promoter. Everything Keegan does is over the top. His 1.5 million dollar house, luxury car, custom clothes, and etcetera has always got to be top of the line. I wouldn't call him materialistic simply because that is all he's ever known. Usually a materialistic person is someone who didn't grow up with the best and is overcompensating-- Keegan is just grand so that's what everyone calls him LeGrand. We're the only ones who call him by his christian name. He's brought a lot of concerts to town and has rubbed elbows with a lot of different stars so naturally everyone tries to get close to him, but he is not the most inviting person. He's been with his boyfriend Kai for 2 years and they have a solid relationship. Kai owns the club we usually hang out at "Balboa". All of us make fun of Keegan and Kai because we can't really figure out who is the bottom because they are both so aggressive. I came to the conclusion that they both are versatile, but I'm not one to gossip so you haven't heard that from me. Keegan and Kai are faithful, but once Kai is drunk (full) he is a big flirt and this causes all types of drama at Balbao. They fight, break up, make up, and other than the drama they are a solid couple. Keegan is about 5'10, caramel complected, with the best body of the bunch. He works out 5 days a week and is always busting out of a fitted shirt. We work out together sometimes, but I don't go as hard as him. Sometimes I do find myself staring at his nipples and salivating, but I try my best to hide it. Noone knows I have a secret crush on him so you better not tell. Keegan is probably the most giving person I have ever met. Its hard to get into his inner circle, but to him once you are a friend you're a friend for life. Keegan and Kai truly compliment eachother and I've never been happier for them. Keegan is 28 and is the Papa Bear of the group (being the oldest). Before he was a DJ and Party Promoter he worked on Wallstreet as a Stock Broker. He has an Economics degree from Dartmouth and can calculate any figure in his head instantly (don't you hate those people). This ivy league educated stallion spends money like its going out of style. I'm a shopper, but always looking for the next bargain as my school stipend and part-time gig doesn't allow me to just pick up whatever I want and not look at the price. Keegan is very thoughtful and never forgets birthdays or imporant anniversaries.

Luxe is last, but certainly not least. Luxe is probably the most classy, but has the tendency to be cold and so I will say he's sugar-free. Luxe is 25 and a teacher so he's not rich, but he does things with such elegance. I love the way he carries himself. I actually brought him into the circle years ago. Luxe and I started out fuck buddies about 5 years ago. I was temporarily broken up with my Santos and met Luxe at a college event. Later that night we were butt naked sexing in my apartment (don't judge me). Once I got back with Santos the sex stopped, but a bond had been created so we became friends. Of all my friends he probably knows me the best. He can tell when I'm lying, upset, and things of that nature. We're also the most a like so we have a camaraderie that is second to none. Luxe went to State with me and has a Bachelors degree in English. He worked for Teach for America for two years and decided to stay on at the Middle School he was assigned to. We have this exclusive book club where we are the only members (insert laughter). We read the same books at the same time and discuss them. This keeps us debating all the time. I find it so interesting how two people can read the same thing, but take away something totally different from it. Luxe can never keep a boyfriend because he lacks affection (this is where we differ). Although he is warm and beautiful inside and out (trust me I know) he isn't very in touch with his emotions. Luxe probably sleeps around more than Maverick, but noone knows it (classy boys never tell). He isn't out and is constantly getting hit on by the female teachers at his school. He is always flattered, but prefers the brothers. He's the kind of guy you would hate if you didn't know him. He is very into his looks--- there is never a hair out of place; his facial hair is always trimmed to perfection. He wouldn't be caught dead without a fresh line-up. His eyes are chinky and his cheekbones are overly pronounced. His skin is the color of sandpaper and his smile is imperfect and a bit crooked yet infectious. Luxe is very conservative and is probably the only proud black Republican I know. He will be quick to tell you he did not vote for Barack Obama and offer a long-winded explanation if you inquired within.