Soldier of Love

It had been a month since Keegan gave us that big scare. He had thought he out grew his asthma because he hadn't had an attack in many years, but he almost lost his life. He's fine now; back to work and everything, but I will never forget how fast my heart was racing when I made it to the hospital and he was hooked up to all of those machines. I held his mother as she wet my shirt with her tears. I thank God that everything turned out fine. The last month has indeed been crazy. School has been intense and that is the reason I have been neglecting you. I have also been seeing Mr. G on the regular. The sex is amazing and there is something relaxing about dating someone a bit older. He isn't in the club every weekend and he has a lot of patience. Those are qualties that can be hard to find in a younger man, but these days there are a lot of 35-40 year old men still in the club every weekend so I will say Dr. G is an exception to the rule. Here I am sitting in Fishbones with my favorite boys: Keegan, Maverick, and Luxe. It had been a while since we all sat down and truly caught up. It was only 12PM, but that didn't stop us from having cocktails and delving into the latest gossip. I hadn't told any of them about Dr. G because it was too soon I didn't want to get my hopes up or the crew's either. Let me update you. Since Keegan's life-threatening asthma attack he and Kai were back on speaking terms, but the relationship was over. The kept it classy and ended it as friends. Thats admirable, but everytime I try to do that it always ends badly. Maverick and his band have been booking gigs all over Detroit and even have a few dates in Canada next month. I'm very proud of him because finally my bro has some direction. Luxe has been sexing some white boy and thats all he talks about. It seems he may have caught the love bug, but with Luxe you can never be too sure. One day he will be all about someone and the next they are a distant memory. Sometimes I even Luxe because he can separate sex and his emotions very well. I pretend, but I'm not really good at it. Dr. G and I haven't called it officially yet, but we spend most nights together or on the phone until we pass out. We go out to eat and to the movies. I will continue to say we're dating until he gives me a label. Hmmm... I can't help but ponder what if he is waiting for me to say this is more than good sex and wine? "Nik, did you hear me?" "No, I'm sorry what did you say?" "I'm thinking about having a baby", Luxe blurted. We all looked at him in disbelief and all burst out laughing in unison. "A baby, but baby you're still a baby yourself", I chimed in. "See this is why I don't share everything you you all because you all can be so judgmental. Forget I said it." "I'm sorry", we all said in unison again. We laughed and cleared the air. The drinks had us a bit tipsy and dessert was on the way. We didn't have a cute waiter so I wasn't really paying him any attention. Just then my cellphone rang; I thought about ignoring it, but they all answered their phones during our Sex and the City-ish get togethers so I did the same. "Hey sexy I'm getting out of work soon and I was wondering if you wanted to grab a bite on me?" "Actually I'm out with the gang at Fishbones. How about you grab something and I will come over and watch you eat it", I said slyly. By this time everyone was in my conversation and so I decided to end it. "That sounds like a plan. I miss you", Dr G said. "That is to be expected and I wouldn't have it any other way. I will call you when I leave", I said with sex in my voice. I hung up the phone and everyone was looking at me, but I didn't want to tell them everything so I simply informed them that Dr. G was someone I was sleeping with and it was nothing serious. That satisfied their appetites for now. Dr. G and I had sex after he finished his food and ended up watching television. He had recorded Desperate Housewives for me on DVR because he knew I had missed it last Sunday. That was thought of him given the fact I didn't ask him to do that. We watched and talked and my emotions got the best of me and I blurted out something I would instantly regret: "What am I to you?" "You're my baby. I think you're my boyfriend." And then I did it.... I exhaled! "Yeah I'm your boyfriend", I said as I kissed Dr. G passionately. He was saying all of the right things with his body and his mouth. I always admired Dr. G's body; he was well put together and didn't look 37 at all. I had class early in the morning, but I didn't care I decided to spend the night with him and leave out with him in the morning. We had sex again and again and finally we were sleep in eachother's arms. It felt like a fairytale and after all I've been through I feel I deserve it. "Where are my diamonds? I need my diamonds with this outfit", Symone screamed liked a spoiled brat. "Here they are", I said as I passed them to her. This girl couldn't see for looking. Terrence and Symone were having another date, but not just any date; it was a date with his parents. She was determined to look perfect and conservative so she asked me to come over and help her get dressed. She decided on a chic business suit and some killer heels. Her shoe game was always on point. Symone looked beautiful as usual and I caught myself looking at that ass once or twice. I think she saw me, but I didn't care. I decided to dip out before Terrence arrived and I wished her the best. Dr. G would be off in a couple hours and I decided to cook homemade chinese stir-fry and have him over. We spent most of our time at his place because it was close to his job and my classes, but I thought we should switch it up tonight. I was putting the finishing touches on dinner and about to light some candles when the phone rang. "Whats up dis Santos shawty. Whats good?" It took me a minute to catch my breath, but when I finally did some jiberish came out. "I mean whats up? How are you?", I managed to get out. "I'm good shawty I just been thinking about you and wanted to let you know that", he informed me. His voice was still like silk. We caught up for about 15 minutes before Dr. G called and I quickly ended the call. I couldn't help but think of Santos' real reason for calling me. There must be trouble in paradise. I decided not to dwell on someone else's relationship and worry about mine. I had everything perfect when Dr. G arrived. We didn't have sex that night. We played cards and watched movies and I watched him sleep until I fell asleep. I feel so safe when I'm with Dr. G. Moreover, I feel like I'm not alone in this world anymore. I don't care how many people put up the front that they are complete without someone I find that shit hard to believe. Was I happy before I met him? Yes. Was I satisfied? No. I do feel complete now. I am falling and I'm trying to slow it down, but your heart doesn't always do what your mind tells it to.